New Plans with Hard Realities

Boy has our family had a week of things not going as planned. We have all had those days, weeks, or even months and while it can be a huge hit to ego and self esteem, to family dynamics and structure it really is a good swift kick to reevaluate and try something new. Sometimes this something new comes in the way cleansing out clutter, or really focusing on true family and true friends, sometimes it comes through prayer or meditation, and sometimes it comes through all of the above.

After I started a family I only ever had one “big” dream. As a frugal girl who always purchased her vehicles outright and old (20+ years), looking for the best deal, and pushed by family to make it work that way, I had always hoped that someday (when I needed it, of course) I could have my “dream car.” Now my dream car isn’t something brand new it’s simply a brand – a Honda Pilot. It’s a car I have always loved and always wanted. Looking in a range of 2008 or newer we were hoping to be able to make this vehicle a new addition to our family before the other new addition to our family arrived.

With SCM working in another state at a brand new job with odd hours plus attending college, me being very pregnant and having a toddler plus my work that takes me away from home, it has been more than a pain to attempt to share one car. In a few months we won’t even be able to do that as we are unable to safely and properly fit an infant seat in our current vehicle from 1991 in addition to LMs carseat and the two or even one of us adults. All of this coming together rather quickly we figured it was time to start looking for that 2nd car. While we found the car, we lacked the financing ability due to the short nature of SCMs new job and because of that had to pass on the vehicle. Our options now for buying seem impossible as the instant cash at hand, like many, just isn’t right there right now and by the time SCMs new job is considered “seasoned” enough for a bank to not be so scared of us new baby will already have arrived into the world. The compounding problems and lack of options was frankly leaving me, at the end of my rope. Frustrated and angry didn’t even begin to describe my very pregnant and hormonal feelings.  Though it seems like a “minor issue”, in our family and with the overload of circumstances surrounding the whole process it made it a big issue that felt even more monstrous by my ever real added hormones.

I needed a reset.

After a night of sleep, or rather a night of tossing and turning and trying to sleep I tried to just push out all the angry, or at least channel it a bit better and decided this morning that we are just going to have to ride the tide.We will make much more serious cuts where we need to and change the dynamics of our day to day to try to acquire that cash in hand ability before little bean makes his/her arrival. But this means some seriously stressful challenges for both SCM and I.

What I do know is the following:

  • I will likely be spending much more time confined to my home with my toddler and soon my infant and that means I rapidly need to think of more activities (seasonally appropriate) for LM and I to do. And for LM to do when new baby arrives. (so if you have some please send them my way.)
  • I will miss out on activities more often than not, because SCM’s work & school schedule must come first and therefore his ability to have the car, must also come first. This means such things as my work parties, church, play dates, visiting friends or family, errands or recreational fun fall and holiday outings being limited or eliminated depending on SCMs schedule.
  • I will take this time to downsize and concentrate on myself and my immediate family and the things that are important to us.
  • I will no longer be allowing people that only support me and my family when things are done their way or according to their guidelines to be such a bombarding force in my life. If you don’t like how my family functions, feels, thinks, or believes and feel the need to voice it at every turn and moment then realize the relationship there is changing and if you don’t like it then maybe you should change your attitude.
  • I will take the time to blog more, plan more, focus more, and get lost in the haze less.
  • I will enjoy and bond into my pregnancy more than I have thus-far.
  • I will take the time to evaluate for myself my relationship with my creator and my family’s relationship to Him and take the steps that we feel we need to in our family to be the best people we can be on our terms as a family unit and not anyone else’s. And if that bothers anyone I really don’t care and don’t want to hear about it because it isn’t your family it’s mine worry about your own.
  • I will work my business to the best and hardest of my ability within my constraints and still attempt to make the goals *I* set for myself, and not goals that anyone else sets for me. I work my business for myself and my family and not for anyone else.
  • I will still take the time to do at least one thing a week just for myself, because I deserve it and I need it.

This reset was a long time coming and definitely not prompted solely by our disappointment in not being able to obtain our car right at this moment. Here’s to the hope that it gives us the focus we need, the accomplishment we need, and the family time we deserve and that things start looking up from here in every aspect. I am praying for some sanity and motivation as I approach a tight and confined shift that may make me crazy.

 

What are some things you do to “reset” when you need to? Is there one thing in particular that always calms you down and helps your refocus? If so, what is it? What are your favorite almost 2yr old inside activities for those stuck in the house times? 

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