Growing up in my family, and still in my family (my parents and siblings) things are handled with louder voices. Improper actions are handled with a shout of a “no” and if it involves an item than it being briskly removed from that persons possession. Love is given up close and personal, ALL THE TIME, and feelings get hurt if everyone isn’t equal in the love triangle of “sissy” (that’s me) visiting. Everyone is loud, there are a great deal of “little mothers” (ie. each sibling at a different time.), little things become big disasters, there is a lot of frustration and often a different crisis every minute or so.
This is what I grew up with and while it isn’t bad it was not the parenting style or direction that SCM and I wanted in our home. We approach things at a much more relaxed level and do our best to not let the little things cause a big deal in the household. We approach problems with a solution based approach and try to positively re-phrase things in order to keep harmony in the house. Not only do we do this with LM but SCM and I strive to do it with each other. Communication is a huge aspect of our life and home and we value it. I rarely if ever raise my voice in anger and if I do raise my voice it is because of a harm situation.
So what is the problem?
The problem I have found is that the INSTANT I step into my parents house, am around my siblings/family, where the environment is so vastly different, I become, vastly different. And while my tone won’t change with my child it certainly does for everyone else. I find myself responding to my siblings in manners equal to how the home is, loudly and with force.
I don’t know why it causes such a Jekkle/Hyde response for me, but I have identified that it is happening and now it is time to figure out a way to keep my peaceful centered parenting/lifestyle amongst all kinds of chaos.
Have you had this issue with family/friends? How have you handled it?