7 months later …

When Angel Girl was born I had a fantastic birth. Quick, fantastic, vaginal birth. With LM it was VERY different and I have noticed that I am very scared by it, both physically and emotionally. Read more about LM birth story.

I wasn’t prepared for a c-section, I didn’t want a c-section, and while I know that in this case it was probably best that I had one – LM is 7 months old and I am STILL hurting from it. Not only emotionally am I a mess because I had my stomach sliced open and my child ripped out, but physically I still have intense pain around my scar, shooting pains around my hips. When LM kicks me I want to cry it is so tender.

At 7 months old I figure it’s time to go back in and speak to my doctor about it. SCM and I plan on having more children, but honestly the thought of EVER having to go through another c-section scares the living hell out of me.

I am hoping for an ease and an answer to this pain this week – and I am hoping it is good news because I don’t know if with SCM being gone – I can handle it being bad.

Looking back I wish I had advocated better for myself and explored my options a little bit more. I wish that on the FIRST day I KNEW I was in labor that I had held strong and gone with my gut. I know now that next pregnancy I will be completely different in how I approach it so that I can have the birth I want and hopefully have a much better entrance into the world for our next little one.

Despite the trauma and the struggle I remember that I have a beautiful baby girl and she is healthy and happy. In the end that is the most important.

We had a photo-shoot done before daddy left (tomorrows blog) so here is a preview of those photos. A vivacious – blue eyed – 7 month old Little Miss!

Did you have an unexpected “traumatic” birth? How did you handle it? How have you advocated for yourself and your child in a hospital setting?

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