When Angel Girl was born I had a fantastic birth. Quick, fantastic, vaginal birth. With LM it was VERY different and I have noticed that I am very scared by it, both physically and emotionally. Read more about LM birth story.
I wasn’t prepared for a c-section, I didn’t want a c-section, and while I know that in this case it was probably best that I had one – LM is 7 months old and I am STILL hurting from it. Not only emotionally am I a mess because I had my stomach sliced open and my child ripped out, but physically I still have intense pain around my scar, shooting pains around my hips. When LM kicks me I want to cry it is so tender.
At 7 months old I figure it’s time to go back in and speak to my doctor about it. SCM and I plan on having more children, but honestly the thought of EVER having to go through another c-section scares the living hell out of me.
I am hoping for an ease and an answer to this pain this week – and I am hoping it is good news because I don’t know if with SCM being gone – I can handle it being bad.
Looking back I wish I had advocated better for myself and explored my options a little bit more. I wish that on the FIRST day I KNEW I was in labor that I had held strong and gone with my gut. I know now that next pregnancy I will be completely different in how I approach it so that I can have the birth I want and hopefully have a much better entrance into the world for our next little one.
Despite the trauma and the struggle I remember that I have a beautiful baby girl and she is healthy and happy. In the end that is the most important.
Did you have an unexpected “traumatic” birth? How did you handle it? How have you advocated for yourself and your child in a hospital setting?